Stupid Poor Boy, And You're A Beautiful Woman
by ThatLittleWriter
Summary: Kenny McCormick will never be anything more than poor American trash and he isn't the only one having trouble accepting this. ((Short temp. summary, Kendy fanfic. Rated M for swearing, adult themes and possible lemons))


The sky was dark and the stars shone brightly, the snow on the ground was crisp and icy, Kenny would occasionally slip along the slippery surface. His parka undone, it wasn't too cold today, the wind was scarce and so the only cold of the night was the touch of the ice beneath his feet. Unaware of the exact time but he was sure it was long past midnight, his cigarette stained fingertips brushed along each surface he passed, the roughness of the wooded fences to the burning touch of a frozen bus stop pole.

The reality was he was kicked out this night, though he never spent any of his time at home anyway. He left around 9am that morning and returned at 11pm very drunk, shouting and smashing things in the living room as he was greeted with a hypocritical lecture. He'd spent the entire day with Craig and Clyde vandalising various property with graffiti, occasionally smashing the windows of the scrapped cars and other machinery at the junkyard. They'd left Kenny outside the closed gates of the school drunk off his ass around 10pm and he'd spent the remaining hour searching for his home in a drunken haze.

The alcohol was beginning to wear off leaving him sober enough to guess the time was near around 4 or 5; smiling unconditionally at the dim lights of the streets and the slow fall of the snow, he exhaled deeply taking in the scent of this rather nostalgic-feeling night, with no one by his side he let his childhood memories take over him, growing tired he took to the bench nearest to him, his bare fingers intertwined with eachother as he sat, mellowed and calm, eyes closed. Tonight was a beautiful night and the orange hooded boy was soon sound asleep laid across the wooden seat.

* * *

"Kenny?" A familiar voice sounded, being poked at the sides the blond rubbed his tired eyes and sat up, holding onto his forehead as a headache shot across beneath his bangs. His frame trembling from the sudden turn of the bitter night, he often woke up in this state, cold, hungry, hungover and tired so to him it was just another day, rarely however was he woken by another person. Purple beret and those familiar yellow trousers shone distinctly in the distant sunlight, it didn't take him long to realise it was Wendy who had been calling him. "Kenny what on earth are you doing out here?" She asked him, a small grin to her lips as she found the tired blond in his woken state to be rather amusing.

"Sleeping." He replied bluntly, squinting as he turned to her, the rays of the sun hitting his face and temporarily blinding him. "What are you doing here?" She gave him a strange look.

"It's Monday, I have school today..? I was on the way to the bus stop."

"It's what?"

"Monday." _'Shit was it Monday already?'_ It seemed like Friday only yesterday, this wasn't out of the ordinary for the blond however, his reaction to the dreaded Monday was the same every week and he never remembered his weekends, still it baffled him everytime.

"Shit man.." He yawned, stretching out briefly before standing himself up and straightening out his jacket. He mentally cursed Wendy for disturbing him, he would have skipped otherwise but the more he thought on it he couldn't afford anymore absences, he was close enough to exclusion as it was. "Hold up a sec I'll come with." She giggled silently in response as she watched patiently as he fumbled with his wrinkled clothing, picking up his tattered backpack thrown down underneath since the previous night.

"That's more than a second, catch up when you're ready." She teased him as she begun to walk ahead, deliberately at a slow place so he'd be able to catch her up easily. Surely enough he caught up only seconds later, tossing his bag around one shoulder. The air was a lot chillier this morning as the wind picked up, Kenny shivered violently and Wendy rolled her eyes. "You do have a home Ken you should use it more often." It was true, he did have a home to go to but it wasn't the type of home he'd like, he didn't even have a warm bed, his sheets were torn and dirty, he'd given what was still usable to Karen as she had recently developed a cold.

"Hardly. Besides you'd be surprised at the amount of places you can actually make a bed out of." The blond had been able to do this almost everywhere in South Park, the junkyard was a good place to hit, but Kenny was an adventurous, restless being, often wandering around until the early hours of the morning and as he grew tired he'd take to slumber at the place nearest to him, his favourite were broken vehicles, comfy seats with plenty of leg room, he'd cut himself several times entering through the shattered windows but they were mere cat scratches in the end. His least favourite were alleyways, he couldn't describe why but he was pretty sure it was the random drunks who'd wander down the alley wondering where they were and the vile smell of the dumpsters that put him off them so much.

"You stink."

"It's the smell of adventure."

"It smells like you've died and been left to rot.."

"Is there a difference?" He laughed at her growing impatient with his stupidity, she wasn't angry though. Wendy was a prideful girl, with often a mouth too large and a mind too wise for the average being to comprehend, if she was wrong then so was everyone else.

"Don't make me slap you, it's too early for any of this." She responded, attempting to stifle her bubbling laughter. Her smile faded as she had her eyes fixed on a swift moving vehicle further down the road. "Is.. Is that the bus?" He turned to look in her direction, the bus had either come early or they were late, and Wendy was never late, she mentally blamed the incapable blond for this.

"Yeah and it's stopping at the bus stop over there. Hurry." He took her by the wrist and begun to run down the streets with her by his side, ignoring her pleas to slow down as he continued on to the bus stop, Wendy was just able to keep a grip on the books pressed against her chest with her free arm.

"I swear to God Kenny." He shushed her as he placed his finger to her lips, she grimaced at the thought of where exactly his unwashed hands had been. "Don't shush me you f-" he shushed her again. She sighed defeated, removing his hand forcefully before collecting herself and asking a blunt; "What?"

"Nothing, I just thought it'd be funny."

"I will kick your fucking ass Kenny." She pushed him to the side as she gave herself the privilege to enter the bus first, sending a glare his way as he responded with a cheeky grin. It seems Bebe wasn't here today so she sat on the nearest empty seat, planning to wait for one of the girls from the next stop to come on.

"What are you doing?" She asked the orange hooded boy who took seat beside her.

"Sitting."

"...Here?" He nodded in response, not saying anything more. It was apparent that Kenny wasn't going to change his mind and as she realised this she sighed and leant back on her chair, turning to face out the window as the bus took off. He smirked as he watched her give up so easily. He didn't have any other reason sitting next to her than sheer amusement, the boys would be on soon anyway. She took out her phone in attempt to ignore him further, and he mimicked her actions, bringing out his own flip phone, tapping away on the keys gradually leaning over to see what she was doing.

"You're still into that whole feminist thing huh." He muttered close to her ear as his eyes laid upon a very female dominated web page on her phone, she flinched and hid the screen between her hands from the feel of his breath hitting her ear at an uncomfortable distance.

"Yes Ken, stop being so nosey." She snapped, brows furrowed, she'd already had enough of him and it'd hardly been 20 minutes since finding him on a bench, she pondered on the thought of having just left him there, it sounded more appealing than what she actually did. She sighed, relaxing her posture. "There's a meeting later today at 5, I was thinking of going..But I don't know, they always expect so much."

"Alright I didn't ask for your life story." He teased, something about her visibly growing rage made him smile, he couldn't control himself with his cocky remarks, although she could turn round and slap him at any given moment, she punched him weakly on the arm and fumed, cursing beneath her breath with no more words to say. "A'ight a'ight I'm just kidding, calm down." Her eye twitched, maybe he should slow it down a bit. "What might stop you going?"

Her expression lifted, wondering what he was going on about for a second before mouthing a silent 'oh'. "Last week's meeting wasn't so productive, I've been feeling a little stressed anyway and I was thinking of skipping. I don't think they'd miss me too much." The palms of his hands resting on his thighs turned upright in a questioning gesture.

"Any plans?" She put her finger to her lip in thought and checked her phone, no new messages and no recently made plans either.

"Actually no... I might go see why Bebe decided to skip though."

"She's probably fucking Clyde in his room, he's not here either." As her face grew red from his vulgar words including her best friend she quickly turned to scan the bus, he was right, he wasn't here either, she knew they had something going on but she wasn't much of a gossip, at least not anymore, she didn't even think to ask about the two of them despite how obvious it all was.

"O-or-" she swallowed down the lump that formed in her throat. "Or she might just be sick, a reason a normal person would usually be absent for." He snorted, no one was ever absent for a little sickness, it was always something else.

"Hmmm, yeaaahh." She rolled her eyes, not prepared to argue with him, he wouldn't change his mind and there was at least half the chance that he was right, she wouldn't admit this though, he was only being facetious. They returned to their phones remaining in silence for minutes more, the bus stopped and left various stations as more and more familiar faces filled the bus. Kenny waved cheerfully to his friends who replied with a confused expression, not waiting around to ask questions they proceeded onto their usual seats at the back of the bus. "..Wenddyy?" He asked in a childish tone.

"What?" She replied, eyes fixed on her phone.

"What's your number?" Turning to him with a one sided smile, she exhaled deeply in amusement, taking the phone from his hand and typing her number into the profile already made.

"Just drop me a text I'll save your number in when I get it."

"A'ight." They both returned to a peaceful silence and rode the rest of the bus out with sheepish smiles.

* * *

History, Kenny didn't have much appreciation for the history of their country, it was all a load of shit to him in the end, all this praise for history facts didn't mean nothing when no one had a reason as to why people like him were so below average for human standards, he tried not to think too hard on it as it made him quite angry at times. He drowned out the teacher's words by tapping his fingers on his desk, scribbling on his papers, following the ticking of the clock and giving the girls and boys of group A ratings on how 'good their ass was' that day. Even though preoccupying his mind with so many distractions the clock still ticked away at a painfully slow rate. Observing his class his eyes laid on a very agitated looking girl to the front, the only girl of the school who shared his view on how awful facts of the past really were, Wendy, she looked ready to stand up and punch someone, the blond didn't even know why exactly this time, he stopped listening before the lesson even started.

He leant back on his chair and pulled his phone out, hiding it just beneath the desk so he wouldn't be caught.  
'heyyy;)' he sent it addressed to Wendy. It took several moments but he watched patiently as she eventually pulled out her phone from the pocket of her trousers, head glancing up and down paranoid incase she got caught. He particularly took note of how she giggled at the text.

'lol Kenny right? What are you doing? You'll get me into trouble.' She shook her head, putting the phone back in her pocket and looked back up to the teacher in amusement.

'Hmhmm u look bored, skip class with me?' There was no way she would agree with him but he enjoyed the way she laughed at his text regardless.

'Are you insane? No chance! I'm not getting into trouble.'

'u scared?'

'There's more than enough difference between being scared and not wanting to get into trouble to even confuse the two.'

'Ur scared;)' He was just about to press send when the teacher shouted, the whole class grew silent and turned to face him at the back of the room.

"Kenneth!" His fingers ceased movement, his head still facing down as his eyes slowly rolled upwards, giving the teacher the very least of his attention. "Look at me when I am speaking to you." He sighed, a grin to his lips as he lifted his head. "And what do you think you're doing?"

"Having a cheeky wank miss." He replied, offering a gentle smile with his response as various sounds erupted from his classmates, Wendy's mouth from the front hung agape as her eyes lit up, desperately trying not to laugh. Normally she'd roll her eyes and curse about how stupid he was but today she somehow found amusement in the situation. Their encounter from earlier that morning had had the girl viewing Kenny in a different light, though there wasn't much new to have learnt about the boy in less than an hour, Wendy still found herself appreciating his existence in a way she never did before. Her palm to her mouth, hiding her widening grin and the teacher's cheeks grew red, she stomped over to the blond, wrenching his phone from his hands. Kyle sat with his face in his palm from the embarrassment and Stan sitting beside him couldn't control his laughter. Kenny wiggled his brows feeling all too proud as they all exchanged glances.

"Get out of my class room, to the principles office, right now!" Her back to the class she threw his phone down in the draws beside the chalk board, waiting as Kenny lifted himself from his seat, hands in his pockets and left through the door. He didn't give a damn what he did in class, he did it for the laughs, his smile proved this as he exited, winking at the flustered teacher as he caught her eyes looking in his direction.

* * *

He huffed down the corridors, the speech with the principal was never fun, it always unnecessarily dragged out and it demanded so much from him, apologies, false agreements and future instructions. A process he has repeated countless times. A familiar blue capped boy sat on the bench outside the dreaded principle's office. Craig Tucker from group B.

"Ay Craigy-boy." He greeted, taking seat behind him.

"Don't even breathe near me McCormick."

"Ouch, a little irritated today aren't we?"

"You don't know the half of it, first Ruby wakes me up at 4 and doesn't let me get back to sleep, my Dad sends me here to school with no lunch or money and that fucking Eric Cartman has me sent here." Craig was a very simple guy, what sounded normal and just a mere inconvenience to most people was a global disaster in his world, he knew himself as a very straight forward person but he was actually one of the most dramatic students of the school when he got started. The darker haired teen sat with his legs stretched out in front and his arms folded, sulking.

"What he do?" Cartman was amongst the other few people separated from group A to group B, mainly because Kyle floored him at one point because the larger boy wouldn't stop chanting offences about the Jewish religion, it was a mutual agreement that the two be separated. Though by the sounds of it placing Cartman with someone like Craig wasn't going to end so well either.

"He stole my glue."

"Your...glue?" He tried not to laugh, he really did but he couldn't control it.

"It's not funny. I watched him take it, then deny it, so he watched my fist hit his face. It was a pretty fair revenge to me."

"Unbelievable."

"Isn't it?" The blond was referring to Craig's logic in this so called 'fair revenge' but several years of being one of Cartman's best friends he had no doubts that he deserved it.

"Give me your phone a second." He held his hand out as if Craig had already agreed on giving it over. He replied with a glare.

"Why?"

"I need it to fuck your mom." Craig huffed and reached into his pocket, placing his phone into Kenny's palm. Folding his arms back together again in silence as he waited for the blond to finish tapping about on the buttons. "You owe me this anyway." Referring to his abandonment the previous night, Craig shrugged in response, he couldn't care less.

'be a babe n get my fone back lolol im using craigs.' conveniently Craig had Wendy's number saved in his contacts and instead of questioning it's reason for being there he hit the SMS button and sent her the text. Wendy was one of the most valued students by the teachers, she'd be able to get his phone back with no questions asked.

'Alright but what the hell did you think you were doing?'

'improvising, whatd u think?;)'

'I think you're a fucking idiot haha.'


End file.
